A Recipe For Love

I think I could be falling...

Love...it feels like you could be flying over the top of your city, and falling at the same time. Feeling that elation over someone that can make you feel happy, and sad, all in one day.  It can be described as a stomach that is full of hot pebbles, or a chest full of hummingbirds. 

So what is the recipe for love?  So many of us have gaps of time in our lives where love eludes us...feeling like we were on the wrong elevator, or something. Maybe I should have taken that other elevator, the one where everyone is smiling and having a good time....the one where couples step off and out it's doors....hand in hand. We hope, we anticipate, then in enough space in time we realize that we are happiest, right here in the moment of being single.  We are all a work in progress. Some of us, like me, for instance, a big work in progress. I have to learn to love myself, real love for who I am. It sounds easy, but in a lifetime that has spanned my own, not easy for me. I am progressing, and I do love myself today. I am not all the way there. My teenage son is quick to tell me when my self esteem falters. He knows me best. He has heard me in the night, crying, and has seen how I sometimes throw the red carpet over myself so that I may accommodate people to walk all over me. It's like..."Here, please walk all over me, and to make your trip more comfortable, please use the red carpet..."

So what is the recipe for love?

The recipe starts with "you".  You must love yourself, be of strong heart and convictions, know who you are, and where you come from. You must address your baggage. That doesn't mean check your baggage in, and have carry on. For me, I relate "baggage" to the bad stuff. There is always bad stuff that happens to us, along life's path.  I remember someone saying, "you must find the person with matching luggage."  I believe that is not the case...at least not for me. It does sound cute, but I have felt it necessary to address my own personal walk of life and deal with the bad stuff that I have had to experience. 

You must be a "friend".  This is a crucial item to my recipe.  How can you build on a relationship, if you are not friends?  You must be a friend, and reach out as a friend.  Know each other.  Know when things are tough, and be a friend during those times, as well as the great times. You need to know when to cut a joke, and lighten someone's day. Have a smile...make a smile. Hold someone's hand, when it is a really bad day. 

Simmer the pot. The pot is the container for all those pieces of yourself and pieces of your friendship. Simmering takes time, it takes a mindful approach, and it takes loving care. I tell the female students at my High School, that they are a "flower".  A flower must be tended to, nurtured, and treated gently.  A man that does treat them gently, and with care, would damage them, much like rough treatment would damage a flower's petals.  I then, break it down into street talk. But...they get the picture.

So, to recap....What is the Recipe For Love?  Love is what you make it.  A whole cup of self, folded into a whole cup of friendship....simmer on low...and Mama thinks it will surely be a glorious dish of love.

And me?  Well, let's just say I'm in the kitchen....nothing simmering yet, but I have all the ingredients ready. Good Night all, this has been just a little midnight love...from me...to you.